Adult is to “making a living” as Child is to “compulsory education”

My husband leaves home to go to work at 8 AM every day; he is home by 5 PM. He gets one hour for lunch and two 15 min. breaks. We live close to his office so his commute is very short. He works 40 hours a week. Sometimes he has to work 60+ hour weeks, bringing his laptop home or leaving in the early hours of the morning but this “crunch time” never lasts long. The people he works with treat him with respect and he feels safe at his job site. If he didn’t like his job or the people he worked with he could speak to his manager about a change. If no change could be made he could apply to work somewhere else or he could choose to stick it out.

My neighbor’s daughter is 6 years old. She leaves on the bus around 8 AM the school is just over one mile but the bus route takes nearly ¾ of an hour in good weather. She gets home at 4PM. She is in school for 35 hours a week. She gets ½ hour for lunch and another ½ hour for recess break (I have heard that some elementary schools no longer hold recess). She always has homework but she is only in first grade so it is not much, an average of ½ hour a day. If she was a high school student it could easily be as much as 2-3 hours or more bringing her per week school time past the 40 hour mark and that doesn't yet include an instrument, sports, clubs etc. The students she goes to school with are often cruel, spiteful, and vulgar; she does not always feel safe there. If she doesn’t like her teacher or classmates, there is nothing she can do about it. If her parents don’t like her teacher or classmates it is unlikely they can do anything about it but hope for better next year. Getting summer off seems to be the only perk. If her mom worked, she’d spend her summer in day care. (I need hardly add that adults are emotionally far more mature than children and thus far more capable of voicing their concerns and dealing with stressful working conditions.)

What happened to make childhood only 5 years long? What is so fascinating about our adult lives that we want to rid ourselves of these precious bundles of laughter and bright-eyed curiosity (which we so desperately wanted only 5 yrs ago)? Why all this homework? Don’t say it’s to keep parents involved! Leaving parents time to play and laugh with their children…that’s quality parental involvement.

How is it that so many people don’t see the educational system for what it is? These are C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N… there will be plenty of time for full-time employment later—years and years and years of it!

Okay, now I know you all agree with me... so, now, what do we do about it?! We Home School our own children and that is wonderful! But when people ask us about Home School are we quiet? Are our eyes downcast? Do we meekly respond that it is what's best for our family or do we get a sparkle in our eyes and talk (not preach) but talk excitedly about how wonderful it is, how we wish we could have been taught this way, how much the kids are learning, how enthusiastic they are, and how much they know? We don't need to preach or start arguments to get others thinking. Being outspoken doesn't mean we have to make ANY comments whatsoever about what others have chosen... but lets not apologize for what we have chosen, and for what is working WONDERFULLY in our own homes! Maybe, just maybe we'll spark some interest, ignite research, and give someone the nudge they need to burst forth into the Home Education culture that we love so much!

Give it a try next time someone asks you why-- just show them all that enthusiasm that you have & go off on some project your kids are doing or some wonderful thing they said-- heck, tell them how your kids feel sorry for all those kids locked up till almost dinner time!

Don't apologize for having found something AMAZING and EFFECTIVE for your family! Share what you believe in with a big smile on your face, a gleam in your eye, and be sure to mention that you DO get time to yourself as well ! (If you don't, just hang on till the toddlers are older and you will!)

What about "Socialization?"

Time, after time we are asked about our children's "socialization" when they are educated at home. This cartoon was drawn by a home schooling father. If only those who ask us could see the results that we experience first-hand.

The Baby IS the Lesson

I wanted to share one of the articles that helped me have the courage to home school - even with having a baby. This is by Diane Hopkins

One morning on my daily walk, I was fretting and stewing over what I could possibly do with my one-year-old during school time. I was feeling some despair with a new baby on its way. I couldn't see any end to the disruption of babies in my home school for many years to come. I was praying and scheming at the same time: I could wait until the baby's nap to teach school, I could rotate the children with baby-sitting chore away from our schoolroom, I could get a playpen, etc.: all solutions that didn't feel right--babies needs their moms!As I walked and pondered, suddenly the Lord introduced one sentence to my mind and revolutionized my mindset entirely! "The baby IS the lesson!" I thought I was trying to teach Math, but in reality I had been teaching, day by day, how an adult values the precious gift of children. My children, by watching how I deal with the frustration of a crying baby or keep a toddler happy and busy with some of his "own" pieces while we play a math game, are soaking up "the lesson". Unfortunately, I had occasionally been teaching that the baby interrupts our learning.How to be a Christlike person is the most valuable lesson a child could ever learn! The lesson is learned moment by moment; watching a parent being patient, handling frustration with kindness, pressing on for the goal in spite of numerous interruptions, valuing each child's needs regardless of inconvenience. That valuable insight--how Mother handles the baby is the real lesson--has dramatically changed how I view my home school.

I am teaching foremost my values: godly character, kindness, respect for others, individuality, sacrifice and a host of other Christlike attributes. Teaching them reading, writing, math, etc. is very important to me but my perspective has been altered. "Mimic me, follow me and I will show you the way a Christlike person acts and what he values". That is the message every parent relays to their children whether they are aware of it or not. Children try to copy everything anyway (our mannerisms, our daily activities, etc.). We must be certain that we are providing a correct pattern for them to copy, not only in our daily activities but in our attitude, our tone of voice, and our facial expression. We need to conduct our lives so that we can say "follow me". If our children are to "buy" our values, what a tremendous responsibility we have to make sure we are living our best so the lesson is clear and well learned! What more could you ask for from your homeschool than to produce Christlike people?!Teaching your children basically means getting your own personal life in order and striving daily to be the leader for them to follow. Of course, we fall short and they must look to Christ for the perfect being but they need to see daily how one acts, speaks, lives, solves problems. We are acting as a proxy, in a sense, for Christ. Since they can't have his daily role model, then he has given his children parents to be an example, to point the way. Along with lesson preparations, we need to prepare ourselves by asking: is the pattern I live the way Christ would act? Can I say today that I have marked the path for my children to follow? Children learn from seeing their parent's role model. Watching an adult make a simple mistake (such as being too punitive with a child) and go through the process of repenting is 100 times more effective than your devotional lesson on repentance. This means children must be intimately involved with you in your daily life. A few hours a day after school won't do it.Children should be involved in the adult's life rather than daily life rotating around the children.

Research has shown that children who have grown up to be productive well-adjusted adults are those who have been drawn into the parent's world; their daily activities, work, and interests; rather than having parents who centered their world on the child. When I began home schooling, I never could find the time to do the things I felt were important for my life; such as writing in my journal, corresponding with relatives, studying my scriptures, and more. Somehow, in my busy-ness of trying to teach the kids how to write in their journals, I was neglecting my own journal writing. Thankfully, we now have journal writing time in school daily, and we write letters to relatives together as a family on Sunday. Homeschool life should help parents do the daily necessities, rather than usurp the time needed for them. Home maintenance, chores, food preparation, gardening, food preservation, budgeting, clothing care (mending and sewing), planning family social relationships, caring for small children, record keeping, quilting, wallpapering, etc. are all wonderful life skills that can be done together that enhance a child's education!The parent's joyful task is to lead and guide the child into the real world--not set up a contrived pseudo-world to teach skills that the children would easily learn if they spent their time around adults who were striving to live good lives. What constitutes an adult trying to live a "good life"? Being a productive adult would constitute a full-time curriculum! Plant a garden, read good literature, serve the needy, be politically aware, keep a journal, vote for honest men, develop your talents, etc. The exciting part about leading a child into the real world is that they are self-motivated. The moment I sit down to play the piano, all my children want to play and want me to teach them to play something. No sooner than I begin typing on the computer, I have the whole family "needing" to type. My efforts at writing have, humorous to me, stimulated the production of "books" from my youngest children.

Modeling is so much more effective than lecturing. Studies show that the biggest determining factor for a child's success in reading in school is if they have seen a parent reading in the home on a regular basis. This is especially true for boys if the parent who reads is their father, rather than their mother. Somehow, the example says far more about the value of reading than endless hours in school reading groups.In every area, it takes instruction to teach skills to little people. Children need to master the basic academic skills (reading, writing, arithmetic), social manners, music competence, and a host of other abilities and that does take focused concentration and time from mother/teacher to accomplish. It isn't realized just by living in a family. But shared family life practices and contributes to those skills. Having taught my little girl the numbers and the plus, minus and equal signs and how they worked, she jumped right into figuring out how many plates she needed to set the table using her new skills: ("We have 9 and the boys are gone to college so that is minus 3, so we need six").

When we think of homeschool, sometimes we get tunnel vision, and think "academics", "keeping up to speed" and other worrisome concerns that don't really tell the whole story. Homeschool is the growing and nurturing of fine, upright people. So, how we treat and value the baby really is the lesson.Class never dismissed.—Diane Hopkins

Why do I Homeschool?

Hmm…
Time spent sitting at the table “doing school”(with classical music playing in the back ground): 2 ½ hours.
Time spent at the park playing catch with Dad during his lunch break: ½ hour.
Time spent lying on the grass with my children while eating cookies and reading C.S. Lewis together: 2+ hours.
Time spent doing whatever I wanted while my children created and played with “robot/alien/astronaut” costumes out of tinfoil, boxes, and various odd items: at least 3 hours.
…and that is only part of an average day!

It is widely documented that on average homeschooled students of all ages test higher than public and private school students –regardless of their parent’s education. In light of all the available research (see stats here) it seems that those who send their children to regular brick & mortar schools must have some reason for doing so other than the quality of their children's education. Perhaps both parents must work outside the home, one may have poor health, some may feel unqualified (if so, please re-read the first sentence in this paragraph more closely). Certainly there are some legitimate reasons; many of my friends admit they simply don’t like being around their children for too long, they need more time for themselves. (I commend their ability to look their decision squarely in the face and see it clearly for what it is.)

Another big issue with homeschooling is represented by the question I am most frequently asked, “What about SOCIALIZATION?!”

I have occasionally answered (with a twinkle in my eye) that "We’ve found the perfect solution to all of that… I just beat them up, steal their lunch money, and lock them in the bathroom once a week. Sometimes their dad and I won’t speak to them for a whole day because they were friendly with someone we don’t like, or ‘cause they didn’t dress in-vogue. Don’t worry, we know how important it is for our children to get a real school experience!” :)

In all honesty, no, homeschooled children are not socialized the same way public school students are, instead they are socialized the way the world truly is. Unless the family tries to be hermits they will inevitably socialize. In merely going about your daily life you interact regularly with all ages and in all kinds of situations. When you homeschool you simply take your children along through life with you, daily modeling appropriate socialization with immediate & extended family, neighbors, ecclesiastical leaders, librarians, people in the grocery store etc. All the homeschooled children I know will say “hello” to their siblings in public!! :) No, this is not the same kind of socialization! There are no clicks, negative pressure, or exclusion based on fashion or experience… instead there is love, acceptance, and guidance by those who truly care for their well-being. Homeschooled children still learn to work in a group, accept direction from adults other than their parents, and how to stick to a deadline; but more than all of this, they are allowed to explore, discover, dream, and be themselves. They are generally given a great deal of educational freedom (how shocking!) but studies repeatedly show us that they are more intelligent, creative, and enthusiastic about learning (and, I believe, happier) than their brick & mortar counterparts.

...And people ask me why I homeschool!