Collecting Our Children

" We can no longer assume, as parents in older days could, that a strong early bond between ourselves and our children will endure for as long as we need it.  No matter how great our love or how well intentioned our parenting, under present circumstances we have less margin for error than parents ever had before.  We face too much competition.  To compensate for the cultural chaos of our times, we need to make a habit of collecting our children daily and repeatedly until they are old enough to function as independent beings......"

"Who is to raise our kids?  The resounding answer, the only answer compatible with nature, it that we - the parents and other adults concerned with the care of children - must be their mentors, their guides, their nurturers, and their models.  We need to hold on to our children until our work is done.  We need to hold on not for selfish purposes but so they can venture forth, not hold them back but so they can fulfill their developmental destinies.  We need to hold on to them until they can hold on to themselves."

Hold On to Your Kids, Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers
Gordon Neufeld, PhD.
Gabor Mate, M.D.
2004