The Statesmen

Yesterday, my husband and two other fathers met for the first official "Statesmen" book group discussion. Their first read was "The Inferno" from Dante's Divine Comedy.




If any other Fathers are interested in joining them, check out their web site at: statesmenread.blogspot.com
The Statesmen plan to read "Red Badge of Courage," by Stephan Crane. Their next meeting is December 16th at 7:30pm

A Return To Love

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And when we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

From A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

Adult is to “making a living” as Child is to “compulsory education”

My husband leaves home to go to work at 8 AM every day; he is home by 5 PM. He gets one hour for lunch and two 15 min. breaks. We live close to his office so his commute is very short. He works 40 hours a week. Sometimes he has to work 60+ hour weeks, bringing his laptop home or leaving in the early hours of the morning but this “crunch time” never lasts long. The people he works with treat him with respect and he feels safe at his job site. If he didn’t like his job or the people he worked with he could speak to his manager about a change. If no change could be made he could apply to work somewhere else or he could choose to stick it out.

My neighbor’s daughter is 6 years old. She leaves on the bus around 8 AM the school is just over one mile but the bus route takes nearly ¾ of an hour in good weather. She gets home at 4PM. She is in school for 35 hours a week. She gets ½ hour for lunch and another ½ hour for recess break (I have heard that some elementary schools no longer hold recess). She always has homework but she is only in first grade so it is not much, an average of ½ hour a day. If she was a high school student it could easily be as much as 2-3 hours or more bringing her per week school time past the 40 hour mark and that doesn't yet include an instrument, sports, clubs etc. The students she goes to school with are often cruel, spiteful, and vulgar; she does not always feel safe there. If she doesn’t like her teacher or classmates, there is nothing she can do about it. If her parents don’t like her teacher or classmates it is unlikely they can do anything about it but hope for better next year. Getting summer off seems to be the only perk. If her mom worked, she’d spend her summer in day care. (I need hardly add that adults are emotionally far more mature than children and thus far more capable of voicing their concerns and dealing with stressful working conditions.)

What happened to make childhood only 5 years long? What is so fascinating about our adult lives that we want to rid ourselves of these precious bundles of laughter and bright-eyed curiosity (which we so desperately wanted only 5 yrs ago)? Why all this homework? Don’t say it’s to keep parents involved! Leaving parents time to play and laugh with their children…that’s quality parental involvement.

How is it that so many people don’t see the educational system for what it is? These are C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N… there will be plenty of time for full-time employment later—years and years and years of it!

Okay, now I know you all agree with me... so, now, what do we do about it?! We Home School our own children and that is wonderful! But when people ask us about Home School are we quiet? Are our eyes downcast? Do we meekly respond that it is what's best for our family or do we get a sparkle in our eyes and talk (not preach) but talk excitedly about how wonderful it is, how we wish we could have been taught this way, how much the kids are learning, how enthusiastic they are, and how much they know? We don't need to preach or start arguments to get others thinking. Being outspoken doesn't mean we have to make ANY comments whatsoever about what others have chosen... but lets not apologize for what we have chosen, and for what is working WONDERFULLY in our own homes! Maybe, just maybe we'll spark some interest, ignite research, and give someone the nudge they need to burst forth into the Home Education culture that we love so much!

Give it a try next time someone asks you why-- just show them all that enthusiasm that you have & go off on some project your kids are doing or some wonderful thing they said-- heck, tell them how your kids feel sorry for all those kids locked up till almost dinner time!

Don't apologize for having found something AMAZING and EFFECTIVE for your family! Share what you believe in with a big smile on your face, a gleam in your eye, and be sure to mention that you DO get time to yourself as well ! (If you don't, just hang on till the toddlers are older and you will!)

Click on this title to read about the Rights of the Family

I started reading this article and thought "Yeah right, it'll never get THAT bad!" Then I learned that each of the oh-so-far-fetched scenarios had actually happened... recently!

Diane

Math U See

I just love this math program because it has manipulatives that your student can hold. Diane introduced this to me about 4 years ago (thank you) when I was tutoring special needs students in Math. This program helped the toughest student understand math. Check it out the web site here at Math U See.

They are a little pricey, but I think that it is worth the price, especially if you have more than one child who will use it. My son is very hands-on and this is just perfect for him.

Getting off the conveyor-belt and going alone

I currently struggle immensely with homeschooling as I must currently work outside the home and can't seem to get my spouse on board. We both believe that this is the choice for us - or that at least we must give it a good try before we decide otherwise. This however, requires changes in lifestyle for both of us that are hard. How can we both committ together to make this happen? How do we do this when we are both being pulled in various directions and struggling in various fashions as a couple & as a family right now?

Instilling Vison and Confidence

Do you ever wish that there was an easy set of rules for parenting and educating your children that worked for every child? Well, there is if we look at tribal cultures and try to model their family forms. In tribal cultures mothers and fathers are unique in their roles. Mothers are to instill VISION and Fathers should instill CONFIDENCE. If each spouse focuses on their specific role, you will raise incredible children....here's how:

Mothers Instill Vision
This is simply done by a "You are..." phrase from Mom.

You are such a good big brother.
You are so beautiful.
You are a great helper when you do the dishes.
You are such a good girl.

That's it. Try to have 15 positive interactions to every negative one, and your child will thrive!

Fathers Instill Confidence
This is simply done by a "I feel..." phrase from Dad.

I feel so proud when you help us with the dishes.
I felt disappointed when you lied today.
I feel happy when you are kind to your brother.
I feel sad when you are sad.

So Dads, it's time to get in touch with your softer side and verbalize it, if you want to instill confidence in your children.

Please note, do not try to instill confidence as a Mother, even if you are a single-mother. It will backfire on you. Instead, find another father figure that you trust (like a scout leader) to instill confidence in your child.


On a personal note, I witnessed the effect of this for the first time this last week. My son cut his chin open and needed 8 stitches. During the first half hour when we were in the ER alone, Isaac was on the verge of hysteria (he is only five). Once Dad walked in I was simply amazed at the confidence my son felt. He was clam the rest of the duration of the ER visit. I found my self reflecting on what caused Isaac to change, and concluded that this basic tribal family form was true! I was so thrilled I had to share this little bit of wisdom I had discovered.